


crashing into you

by averyblue



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Love Confessions, M/M, Making Out, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-01
Packaged: 2020-02-10 19:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18666952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/averyblue/pseuds/averyblue
Summary: "Can we pretend we’re together even for just a moment?"





	crashing into you

**Author's Note:**

> this was an experiment gone wrong but sure read on

The space between them withers to non-existence, Changkyun’s chapped lips feather-light against his own. The skin of their noses brush as Hoseok presses closer, yet carefully, afraid the delicate plumpness will pull away at any more contact. But Hoseok’s still scared. Changkyun’s stopped moving, _but he isn’t pulling away, isn’t that enough?_

Time stays still, Hoseok’s breath held back against its will to desperately escape the depths of his lungs, his heart threatening to shatter his ribcage with every passing heartbeat. The silence around them is deafening, the darkness of his closed eyes blinding, but even with anything else, nothing will process when all Hoseok needs is to feel. He presses his lips even further, now slightly parted, and feels the warm press of Changkyun’s clothed chest against his own, slimmer fingers interlacing with Hoseok’s.

Hoseok feels his world spin as Changkyun moves away, a mix of anxiety and awe piercing through his thoughts until Changkyun’s pretty eyes blink open, reducing the cacophony of his mind down to a single soft _Changkyun_. His eyes carry a galaxy of stars Hoseok will never see anywhere else, a hidden beauty in this universe that Hoseok feels lucky to behold this close even for just a night. He hasn’t expected anything outside their usual routine; not a dance, not a confession, not a kiss, and certainly not Changkyun’s arms slowly wrapping around his neck to pull their lips together again. Hoseok melts into the softness, his hands carefully holding onto the younger’s hips. His eyes flutter shut, feeling fingers carding through his hair, and the kiss deepens when his hands move up slowly, carefully, to cradle the curve of Changkyun’s back.

Changkyun isn’t fragile, this Hoseok knows; he’s smart enough to know that Changkyun's exploring just as much as he is. They’re still again, one of Changkyun’s hands gripping the shirt above Hoseok’s back, and the younger leads the kiss for a moment, tracing Hoseok’s lips with his own before pulling away for just an inch. Even in his overwhelmed state, Hoseok moves in before the younger can even catch a breath, their parted lips meeting in an open-mouthed kiss.

In the dimness of their living room, he loses track of his senses. _Everything_ is heightened and so, so overwhelming, from the hands moving down his clothed torso and the lips brushing gently against his, to the feel of Changkyun’s soft hair in his hand and the smell of Changkyun’s mint shampoo. Fleeting seconds feel like lasting minutes, and even then Hoseok feels his skin has been aflame for much, much longer. It’s not his nature to let his want win, especially after years of holding back his own feelings. But the feel of Changkyun’s lips against his own, _knowing_ Changkyun is kissing him back, unravels the tiniest slither of restraint into broken tangles.

_Can we pretend we’re together even for just a moment?_

Maybe tomorrow, he’ll stitch his restraint back together and never, ever speak of this night again. But tonight, he breathes in the moment he asked for and never realized would receive.

He breaks the kiss slowly, inhales deeply, takes in the half-lidded stare of the boy he’s loved for so long, and his lips dip onto Changkyun’s again, tugged in like a fall from gravity. Changkyun hasn’t been so much of a busy kisser or a sensual kisser, that Hoseok doesn’t expect a low long moan when he parts Changkyun’s lips slowly with his tongue. Never has he, in his wildest dreams, thought to hear, to _relish in_ , such a sultry sound resonate from Changkyun’s throat, let alone be drawn out because of him. He pulls Changkyun closer, his hands roaming the younger’s back, as the younger’s breath hits the skin of Hoseok’s chin when he sighs.  

Silence hovers the air, save for the resounds of their soft lips meeting again, and again, and again, and again, the sinful smacks echoing loudly in Hoseok’s ears. He moves in for a long, slow kiss, their tongues meeting for the first time, their soft moans in sync, their hands clutching whatever skin or shirt underneath their grasp radius.

Changkyun tastes of coffee candy, the very one Hoseok has given him just that morning. The thin skin of their lips are achingly close as Hoseok tastes more, _feels_ more. The curve of Changkyun’s teeth, the force of Changkyun’s tongue, the roof and walls of Changkyun’s mouth, all mapping intricately in his mind with every passing second of lost breath until he pulls away. Hoseok isn’t given time to think of anything else but Changkyun as he sees the younger lick his pinked lips slowly, _torturously_ , dark yet starry eyes staring back at him with emotions Hoseok can’t unwrap at a single glance.

For tonight, Hoseok would like to think Changkyun feels something beyond carnal desire, that his dilated pupils hold more meaning than a physiological want, that his touches carry real affection for Hoseok.

Their lips collide again and Hoseok stumbles backwards, his back now pressing against the wall as Changkyun fans the flames burning within Hoseok’s veins. It’s his turn to be tasted, to be explored, to be caught off-guard and to let out a breathy moan. His cheeks burn at the sound he makes; it’s nothing like the dulcet, voluptuous whine that has escaped Changkyun. But he feels a smile grow on the younger’s lips, and Hoseok can’t help but do the same.

It’s all a blur from then, with how close their lips stay together, like attracted magnets that refuse to part beyond an inch, as they move in small steps. Their kisses fall back to softer, slower, where they can both breathe through their nostrils even without keeping each other away, until they manage to keep their lips apart, yet hovering so dangerously close. Their hot breaths intermingle from touch to sound, Changkyun’s more quick-paced and Hoseok’s more quiet. The younger boy’s eyes are staring down, his eyelashes fluttering beautifully with every blink he makes, and Hoseok tilts his head to give him a gentle peck on the cheek.

Their eyes meet again, and Hoseok feels his heart swell. If only he could bask in Changkyun’s gaze forever, he would.

He cups the boy’s cheeks, marked with acne scars but still so soft under his touch, watching Changkyun look at him intently, curiously, his jaw slightly open. And Hoseok presses his lips against the tip of Changkyun’s nose, then on his forehead. His hands then search for Changkyun’s own as he traces his lips against the skin of the younger’s face, peppering light kisses on his cheek, jaw, and--

“Hyung--”

Changkyun tenses under the feel of Hoseok’s lips on his neck, gentle whispered words cut short into a sharp hitched breath, and the younger’s hands make their way to Hoseok’s arms and dig his fingers on pale skin. He pulls away, worried, scared, _did I overdo it?_

“Y-Yes?”

The boy buries his face on Hoseok’s shoulder. “We should… move,” Changkyun says softly, his voice vibrating against the fabric of Hoseok’s shirt.

“To… the couch?” Hoseok answers, voice even softer.

He doesn’t expect Changkyun to grind against him, to drag a strangled groan out of Hoseok’s lips, to spread the heat pooled in his groin, to course a shudder through his body. And just the same, Changkyun lets out the most erotic growl Hoseok has ever heard.

“Yours or mine?” Hoseok asks, panting, hands moving back on Changkyun’s waist. He dares not look down, aware of his own hard-on, and the sight of Changkyun’s might just crumble the last traces of self-control Hoseok still has.

And Changkyun’s lips meet Hoseok’s again. Soft, sweet, sensual. Hoseok deepens the kiss, already too fond of the feeling.

“Yours is bigger,” the boy whispers back, taking a hold of Hoseok’s wrist. _He means the bed, Hoseok_ , he reminds himself, as Changkyun leads the way, not breaking their next kiss while they move.

Everything in his own room is a dark blur once the door is closed, their only source of light being Hoseok’s bedside lamp, but muscle memory lets Hoseok maneuver them through without bumping anything but each other’s bodies until they make it to the bed. Hoseok sits back first and moves, with the younger straddling him in seconds. Changkyun’s tongue traces the shape of Hoseok’s lips as the older boy’s hands roam up to the buttoned front of Changkyun’s pajama top, fingers fumbling as fast as they could until the boy is unclothed.

Changkyun softly laughs as Hoseok stops to stare at his lithe yet broad figure, his bare skin untouched with so many paths to trace with his fingers, his palms, his lips, his tongue, to stimulate every nerve and send fire coursing through Changkyun, to hear his deliciously low moans and broken gasps.

He’s met with a hushed, low groan when he presses his lips against the mole of Changkyun’s neck soundly and trails more chaste kisses down to just above the collarbone, and feels the boy’s hands on his shoulder grip more tightly. Hoseok gently blows the skin of Changkyun’s neck again, and feels one hand smack him lightly.

“Hoseok hyung.”

“Ticklish,” Hoseok whispers, smiling as he looks at Changkyun’s face. His cheeks are flushed crimson and his smile so small. He moves in for another lip kiss, hands moving down Changkyun’s sides and feeling the skin underneath his touch shiver.

But Changkyun’s hands are free, and Hoseok moans against the younger’s mouth when his hands roam underneath his shirt, palms sliding over the sides of his abdomen so _achingly_ slow and then to the center, moving up, up, up, and--

“Changkyun,” he gasps, pulling away, as the boy’s warm palms rub against the pert nubs on his chest.

“Sensitive,” the boy quips back, smile small yet stained of mischief, and he gently pulls Hoseok’s shirt off after.

And he stares; Hoseok can see the glowing red color of Changkyun’s face turn darker. He leans back, heaving as he watches Changkyun’s fixed gaze on his naked torso, the younger’s hands tracing the shallow lines etched by years of exercise.

“You’ve seen me shirtless so many times, Changkyun,” he muses. “You even touched my abs before.”

“Not like this, hyung,” the younger answers softly, his fingers ghosting Hoseok’s muscles with care, breaths slow and deep. Changkyun moves closer and Hoseok holds back a gasp as the fabrics just above their arousals make contact in just the slightest way. The younger’s hands press against Hoseok’s chest that move down to Hoseok’s hips as he leans forward, and Hoseok uses what upper body strength he has to pull himself up again and meet Changkyun’s lips halfway.

The intimacy between them eases into passionate with how much closer they are. Skin to skin, chest to chest, his hands light on Changkyun’s neck and back, Changkyun’s fingers playing with the elastic of Hoseok’s shorts or resting on his abdomen. Their kisses transcend from cotton-soft, from fleeting and gentle into lingering until one of them pulls the other closer, into kisses of closed mouths to open, of steady rhythm to unsynchronized smacks. Hoseok’s heart keeps painfully hammering in his chest, heartbeats lightly thrumming in his ears, with every touch, every sound, every inch of Changkyun’s being pouring into his heart and mind.

God. He loves Changkyun so much.

They break apart for air, and Hoseok gazes at Changkyun while catching his breath. The boy’s skin glistens against the dim light of the room, his lips worse for wear from the presses and nibbles by Hoseok’s mouth, his hair disheveled into a tousled mess and his cheeks and ears painted pretty pink. He wraps his arms around Changkyun’s waist.

And he drowns in the galaxy of Changkyun’s eyes again, just like he always does when their eyes meet every time. It’s full of wonderment and light, glowing with his kindness, yet still deep, dark, and distant.

“Hyung.”

Hoseok blinks. Changkyun’s eyebrows furrow together. “Hm?”

“Are you okay?” Changkyun asks softly. Hoseok doesn’t expect the boy to cup his cheek, and his thumb to press against his cheekbone, and--

Tears.

_I love you, Changkyun._

“Did I… is this too much for you?” the boy asks in worry, wiping the rest of the tears falling every time he blinks.

Hoseok smiles and shakes his head, placing a hand above Changkyun’s, squeezing it gently. _I love you so much, if only this could last forever._ “I’m just… thinking. I’ve never done this before.”

“...me neither. Not even with… with kissing like this.”

“But you seem… experienced,” he tries, laughing softly. It’s difficult to believe with the number of times he’s rendered Hoseok breathless tonight.

“You do too.” Changkyun returns a soft smile, eyes shying from Hoseok’s gaze. “Maybe it’s just natural for us.”

And they laugh together, but Hoseok’s masks the strange feeling in his chest and the scrambling thoughts in his mind. Changkyun has never been intimate like this with anyone before.

No one but him.

He looks back at Changkyun again, his heart full with bittersweet ache as he places a hand on the younger boy’s cheek. He doesn’t know what tomorrow will bring, especially after tonight. Everything is unmerited, uncalled for, and it only promises the unknown once their tirade of kisses and touches end with the dropping high of orgasms. And tomorrow will hurt, despite how Changkyun has revealed it’s only Hoseok he has done this with. That fact alone will make everything hurt even more, too, knowing he may never have this chance again.

But tomorrow can wait, Hoseok realizes. It’s just him and Changkyun tonight.

He gives Changkyun one more soft, gentle kiss, pouring all his fondness, his affection, his love in it. “You’re really, really precious to me, Changkyun.”

Changkyun smiles widely -- it’s the first Hoseok has seen his toothy grin again -- and presses a light kiss on Hoseok’s nose.  He smiles, nuzzling their noses together. 

“I cherish you just as much, Hoseok hyung.” A pause. "And I don't want this to be just pretend."

Hoseok blinks, and blinks, and blinks. "But..."

"I said I had a crush on you when we were kids, didn't I?" Changkyun smiles, pressing his thumbs against the tears rolling down Hoseok's cheeks.  _Happy tears_ , Hoseok can't believe this. "I forgot to mention I didn't stop liking you."

"O-Obviously," Hoseok chokes, such an ugly-happy sob leaving his lips as he feels Changkyun kiss his tear-stained cheeks now. "You could've told me that sooner."

"I thought you only saw me as a kid," Changkyun answers. 

"And I thought you only saw me as a brother." A sad smile falls on Hoseok's lips. "I really thought you liked Minhyuk."

"He has a crush on  _you_ , hyung," the younger replies, pouting. "Or Jooheon hyung, I can never tell."

"I actually thought he liked Hyungwon," Hoseok chuckles, smiling at the younger's cute pouty cheeks and pressing his lips on them. "But I like you, Changkyun. And I'm... glad I don't have to hide anything anymore."

His hands slowly snake down to Changkyun’s sides, to his hips, to his--

“Hyung,” Changkyun huffs, feeling the warm palms of Hoseok’s hands sliding beneath his underwear to knead the soft flesh of his rear. He throws his head forward, onto Hoseok’s shoulder, rutting against Hoseok until the older hisses.

“Y-You’re really hard, Kyun-ah.”

“You are too, hyung.”

Hoseok chuckles softly, lips moving to the younger’s neck, nibbling shallow skin lightly. “Let me take care of you.”

“Can’t--can’t we do it together?” Changkyun asks, voice trembling with every brush of Hoseok’s lips, with each shifting touch and press of Hoseok’s fingers dancing above the crevice of his hidden hole.

And Hoseok kisses him again. Deep, slow, teasing; Changkyun’s hands wrap around the dip of his back, and his lips move away slowly to ghost the shell of the younger’s ear.

“I want to make you feel good, Changkyun,” he whispers, voice low enough to send shivers down Changkyun’s spine. “Will you let me?”

Changkyun presses his lips on Hoseok’s own, shaky yet sure. “Only if you let me return the favor.”

Hoseok feels his erection twitch, the implications of the younger’s words matched with the huskiness of Changkyun’s deep voice sending his heart into a somersault, and for once he’s thankful he still has some sense of self-control.

He presses a kiss on Changkyun’s forehead as they slowly move, now Hoseok above and Changkyun’s head propped on Hoseok’s pillows. The younger’s black hair is splayed out on the white sheets like an inky halo, his glassy eyes just as dark, but his face the brightest in Hoseok’s view.

God. Changkyun is beautiful. More beautiful than the first time they’ve met again in college, and will grow even more so in Hoseok’s eyes no matter what. Hoseok’s gaze moves down to the bloom of red on the boy’s neck to the slowing rise and fall of his bare chest.

“Relax, okay?”

Changkyun gives a consenting nod, and Hoseok leans forward for a slow, deep kiss. Their chests touch, yet Hoseok makes sure to keep any chance of friction between their aching erections minimal. His hands find Changkyun’s and intertwine their fingers. Hoseok pulls away and hovers his lips above Changkyun’s, pulling away every time the younger tries to capture them, then moving closer when his head is resting back on the pillow once more.

“Tease,” Changkyun mumbles, narrowed eyes staring away from Hoseok’s humored ones. And Hoseok relents, gently moving Changkyun’s face and pushing his chin up, planting a chaste, petal-thin kiss on his beloved’s lips.

“Be patient, Kyun-ah,” he laughs. He hovers again, teases again, feels Changkyun’s hands tighten around his, feels Changkyun’s ragged breaths against his lips. And he moves, pressing kisses slowly on the boy’s sharp jawline, caressing the skin of his torso with dandelion-light touches. They get slower and slower the further he goes down, his lips savoring the feel of Changkyun’s soft skin with every press, and Hoseok smiles at every kiss on Changkyun’s exposed neck and shoulder. The boy’s muscles tense at certain kisses in certain places, his voice hiding behind soft restrained groans every time and his forearms crossing over his face.

“You don’t have to hold back,” Hoseok says, pulling himself close to Changkyun’s face and moving away his limbs. “And you don’t have to hide, too. I want to see you.”

“I don’t want to look or sound weird,” Changkyun sighs, hints of nervousness in his voice. “Or desperate.”

“It’s just me, Changkyun-ah. I like the sounds you make,” he says assuringly. A second. Two. Hoseok places a soft kiss on Changkyun’s chin. “Imagine how crazy you’ll drive me when you have your way with me.”

“If you even let me have a turn to have my way with you,” the boy laughs back. “You’re teasing me so badly, Hoseok hyung.”

“I will even more if you hold back,” Hoseok answers.

And that does the trick. He lowers his face, his nose touching Changkyun’s and tracing back down to where his lips have last left. And he moves lower, kissing and kissing, sucking on places where rough moans and low groans escape Changkyun’s inhibitions. He doesn’t linger too long on one place, doesn’t leave any mark, but the temptation to leave even just one, even just in a patch of skin Changkyun always keeps hidden, still stays in his thoughts and only breaks at the sound of Changkyun’s shallow, breathy exhales. He covers so much of Changkyun within minutes, above the collarbones to below his navel to the skin over the outline of his pelvis, brushing fingers and lips and tongue on the peak of the younger’s nipples, tracing his rib bones in faint touches and nose nuzzles, and feels the furnaced heat of Changkyun’s skin flush against his own while the boy’s brain-mouth filter shatters with wanton cries and low-voiced curses.

If only Hoseok has more time, he’d map out all of the skin of Changkyun’s thighs, calves, glutes, and everything else waist down, but even he can’t resist the desperate pleas finally leaving the younger’s lips. Soft stutters and long sighs of Hoseok’s name arouses the man’s libido into an addictive ache. With every kiss, Hoseok has felt Changkyun writhe and squirm, felt the bed sheets move and crumple underneath the boy’s grip and grasp. His ears have heard more than what he’s bargained for, noises so intoxicatingly lewd that anticipation stirs in Hoseok for what’s yet to come.

And as he promised, _I want to make you feel good, Changkyun_ ; a tug of the boy’s pajama bottoms, Changkyun’s hitched moan of ache and arousal, Hoseok’s skilled lips on and around uncharted territory, nimble fingers gripping tightly on his hair, and the loudest gasps Changkyun has made all night. “ _H-Hoseok h--!”_

**Author's Note:**

> i'm actually really embarrassed i wrote this but at the same time, thank you for reading this short fic (if you read it all the way up to this a/n hahahahaha) :D there's backstory clearly but this is just. a oneshot. and will stay that way.
> 
> thank you to bluemoonrabbit for being supportive in telling me to try writing something outside what i usually do!!! <3 and pls feed a stressed writer with comments and kudos if u have time ;A; thank you!!! 
> 
> twt: tsunwrites


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